Sorry I couldn't post an entry sooner, but I have had one heck of a weekend! But, before I can tell you about my fantastic weekend, I have to express how I'm feeling right now.
I am sitting out on my patio, drinking wine (for therapeutical reasons) and snacking on grilled salmon sushi (surprisingly good, I've never had it before). I have spent most of this day in a funk because of comments made by a reviewer regarding my performance this past weekend. Note: I am overly sensitive and vulnerable because this is my first ever musical production and I really, really want it to be great. I'm not going into any further detail -- you have no idea how many times I have hit the backspace button typing this entry! But I have to say that it really messed with me. How can it not? When you put your heart and soul into something and someone comes along and basically says "not good enough", it's hard not to take it personally. Scott was ferocious in reassuring me that it was all good, but I am the kind of person who likes to make sure everyone is happy with the art I am providing.
Charles has told me not to fret over it, and honestly, in order to be a successful actor you have to be able to take the good and the bad, and know that everyone may not necessarily care for what you do. I already feel better just having said how I really feel anyway; by the time we start up the show this week this criticism will just be a tool for improvement. I know in my heart that I am absolutely doing the best that I can and that I will continue to do so, but ego is a funny thing. The hardest thing to learn is when to put it aside so that it won't distract you from what is important: the Truth, as Scott likes to say.
Anyhow, I have so much more to tell you about this past weekend, I'm going to make it a separate post from this whiny one. I want to tell you about what Thursday, Friday and Saturday were like, and I am going to tell you EVERYTHING! Also, I'm going to tell you about Sunday when I went to the freaking TONY AWARDS! Yeah!! Give me just a bit to finish this bottle of wine, and I will be back atcha!
Ciao for now!
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4 comments:
You just have to know this: if you're making really interesting, really serious art, you'll NEVER please everyone. That's the nature of the beast. Welcome to New Line! :)
I NEVER read reviews until a show has closed--it frightens me that my performance might be tainted by either a good or a bad review...so I just don't read them.
The only person who's opinion I listen to during a run is my director--and that's final.
My best advice: don't read reviews until the show has closed. BUT--you are doing a GREAT job in my opinion.
Love you,
M.
Nikki - you are doing a freakin' FANTASTIC job, and don't you dare think otherwise! It's such a pleasure to perform with you everytime...
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